SLAB is a new magazine from

The Private Sector

Share your pain, but don't be shit.

Issue #1 - Brexit Wounds

With the glorious onset of the Brexit phase of our journey towards tax-haven status (where we can finally relax!), we have laughingly called this issue “Brexit Wounds”.

Degenerates are now self-censoring their online output to escape the scrutiny of our brave security services. It has therefore become necessary to put this filth onto real paper and distribute it physically, so that the public can see for themselves what kind of twisted ideology these counter-cultural insects are developing in opposition to good old Core British Values.

SLAB Rules

All contributers must abide by the following rules.

#1 Anonymity - all submissions are credited to anonymous, or an obscure pseudonym of your choosing.

#2 Editors decision is final. We’ve tried being ‘inclusive’ before, it means deluding people into believing their work is good, when it’s not.

#3 No pricks. No cunts. See above.

Now accepting submissions for Issue #2 - Liquifying Reality

What we want:

Writing (fiction or non-fiction) < 3,000 words. No poetry, unless it’s really good.

Illustrations/cartoons/visual art - < 2 pages

Reviews of work you feel we need to know about, passionate bordering on the obsessive only please < 1 page

Slab is an a-political, non-partisan publication. So long as the above rules are obeyed, we welcome submissions from all political, aesthetic and ideological persuasions.

Share your pain with us, but don’t be shit.

No advertising. Backhanded sponsorship only.


deadline: 1st May 2018


Free #SHITFLAGs with Issue #1